Monday, April 17, 2006 @12:07 AM
Easter! Another Step To Peace~
I bottled a lot up.. and really needed to release..
Bore a grudge and needed to forgive..
I felt fear... Loads of it.. But I knew I needed to face it..
This Easter I've made a decision, and I'm glad I made it.
I took that step.
Released what I needed to release.
Took the first step to reconciliation.
To put the past behind and look forward to the future.
Thank God for this opportunity!
Thank God for giving me the courage!
Thank God for friends!
Thank God for this particular person!
Thank god for this learning experience!
The journey wouldn't be easy, but it sure is lighter now.
This Easter will probably be most significant to my life.
Rejoice~! Christ is risen!
Happy Easter to one and all!
* Let no one disregard you because you are young *
Sunday, April 09, 2006 @1:28 AM
Gradually Peaceful
Problems, problems and more problems. Well that's what's been happening for months. Well like what I've stated in my previous post, it's not the problems that really gets on my nerves, but rather the fact that I dun understand why it happened. I felt really cheated by the people around me and by God.
Fortunately things are beginning to take a turn. Taking one step at a time I'm beginning to gradually sort my curiosity out. And gradually peace begins to dwell in me.
Well of course God had been a big part of it no doubt. However, it is the instrument he uses that really melts my heart. Like the chorus of the song "Angel In Disguise" by Corrinne May goes
“Take a look at the ordinary
Don’t need to look at paradise
You could be next to
An angel in disguise”
Well right now…
Next to me…
The angel in disguise…
Is non other than…
The one…
Hmm… Not the only…
Distant cousin of mine…
Joann Natalie Chia…
Thanks a million Jo. First for taking up the courage to sort things out between us and subsequently the never ceasing desire to aid me with the rest of my problems.
Right now it may seem like I’ve just lost something dear and still trying to accept the so called “Bad news”, but really it doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would have, cos I’m comforted by your efforts to be there for me. If God’s Love ever has a shape, I’d believe it’d look just like you. (Aww… now’s the time to shed a tear)
Love ya distant cousin~!
* Let no one disregard you because you are young *
Tuesday, April 04, 2006 @12:20 AM
Job? The mystery of God's Amazing Plans.
It's ironic, how I've always want to be there for my close friends, but I always end up feeling helpless, in fact I need help myself to begin with. Well like the saying goes "How can u help others when u can't even help yourself". But the problem is, I don't know how to help myself, I don't feel I'm the one to help me and I don't feel I deserve whatever has been going on.. I mean.. ya I made mistakes along the way, but.. Nothing to deserve what I'm going through I believe. I really want to reconcile, but I'm like not given a chance to.
I feel like Job, prolly a more fortunate one, least I don't have disease and other worse off stuff. But what I got is enough to make me realise how unstable my faith is. It's hard to be as faithful as Job. A couple of crisis occurs and I can't understand what did I do to deserve being isolated, like freak as though my own problems are not enough for me to handle?
My spiritual dryness begun months ago. And right now I'm extremely curious of why things are happening and affected the awkward feeling of being kept in darkness. Moreover, it just keeps getting worse. At times I really want to yell out really loud for the world to hear. "Got a problem? Well let's voice it out, I'm not that unreasonable am I? If I am, knock some sense into me, break my ego if you have to. Just don't lie to me, don't avoid me and bloody hell don't ignore me."
I'm desperate for answers, insecure when I have none. When I do not understand a problem, I'll ask till ends meet when I get a chance to. This is me, when I don't like something about you, I either accept it or voice out a possible change to it. Don't like what I do? Well accept it or voice your suggestion, and allow us the chance to compromise and ultimately come to consences with each other, don't hurt the friendship.
I'm currently only holding to the hope that my story may just be like Job, and believe that in God's time he will reveal to me mystery of his Amazing Plans.
* Let no one disregard you because you are young *