Sunday, September 18, 2005 @2:12 AM
Block leave? - "let not my will, but yours be done"
I'd say overall I had quite a satisfactory break, if I had to give it a grade, probably 75/100? heh.. ok la B not too bad right? 25/100 kinda cos there were times I just really dunno what to do..
It feels as though I just had my POC yesterday... well I guess time flys when you are having a great time.. I am just beginning get comfortable with freedom once again. However I guess I gotta face reality =(
1 more day till I get to know if I need to stay in camp.. Honestly I'm kinda desperately hoping that I'd get 8am-5pm... A strong urge to ask everyone to pray for me that I get what I want...
Feels as though I could relate to Jesus right now when he was praying at the garden of Gethsemane... asking God... "If it is your will, put me to 8am-5pm..." However, the words "let not my will, but yours be done" seem soooo hard to accept... Cos I know deep inside I want no 2 ways to it... so much that I'd think to myself "God gimme 8am-5pm and I don't mind doing more of your work". I know it's wrong to bargain with God... But that's how desperate I really am!
I need strength for whatever comes my way... to come out of my comfort zone if I have to... I'm clinging whatever hope that is left that I would not need to stay in.
There's only 2 outcome/grades to my mood on monday... It's either 0/100 : (U) or 100/100 : (A*)... Than again... I need to trust God that he'd give me nothing but the best..
* Let no one disregard you because you are young *