Bilenium

Happy Birthday My Very VERY Dear Friend!

2007-07-10T02:11:00.001+08:00

This very day celebrates God's gift of a special friend to me.

Over these years of friendship, we've had our share of ups and downs. Well more ups than downs of course. And through the years this girl has changed a great deal I must say. From one who was fearful of peoples' judgment, to one who has turned such negativity into an inspiration for many. Whilst struggles are inevitable, she has drawn great strength from the almighty one.

On a more personal note, thanks tons for this wonderful friendship! And for all the times you could care less about people's opinion, hence, enabling greater understanding between us. Not forgetting also all the joys we share. Though we've journeyed past certain obstacles along the way, I'm grateful that we've managed to work things out before it got worse.

I pray that God will continue to strengthen you in faith and gradually reveal his wondrous plans for you. Keep up the good fight my friend and if you need a shoulder to lean on I'll be here.

May God continue to shower His blessing on you.
Cheers to a friendship that we hope will last a lifetime =)

With Love,
Ben Long

Our God Is An Awesome God!

2007-04-22T01:04:00.000+08:00

Awesome God! Now that's gonna be my personal theme song!
Amazing! Almightly! Glorious! Extraordinary! Loving! Terrific! Illustrious! Magnificent! Wonderful! Majestic! AhHhh he's just more den words can describe!

For awhile now I've been feeling rather dry spiritually. Well here's what happened, after MPM I moved to LDM and I'm still kinda adjusting, but I do still go back to MPM cos the sessions are open to even non-members.

Feeling the common complain of my peers about 'I feel so old' I'm begining to worry about how involve can I really be? After my left shoulder operation, I missed a few MPM sessions and began drifting a lil from community prayer. Hence when I went back yesterday I just had a great urge to Praise & Worship aloud again.

Irritably, as much as I could sing aloud I was only able to raise my left arm to shoulder height. However, as we went deeper and deeper into prayer, I begun to gradually feel the presence of the holy spirit and I was reminded 'Nothing can stop you from praising God'. Hence, I attempted to raise my left up to praise. And amazingly I DID! At the very moment, I was in total awe and begun to burst into tears of joy.

After that incident, my shoulder did not totally heal yet, but I can raise my arm up to praise. And with every person I testify the incident to, I am able to raise my arm higher and higher.

What more? I've not gone for even a single physiotherapy session since my operation.

Now that's how great God is!

Blessed be God, Blessed by God

2007-04-10T14:03:00.000+08:00

Well, one really common question people have been asking me recently is none other than "What happened to your arm?". And after sharing my ever so often repeated account of the incident, it's funny looking at how people squash up their face in disgust with the "eEe!" exclaimation to go with it. Haha

I mean hey.. chill guys and girls, it really isn't as bad as it seems heh.
Well for the benefit of those who do not already know about the operation I just had on my shoulder (And of course so I do not need to invest on a tape recorder) I'll explain breifly what happened.

In Dec 2005, I slipped an fell into a pool and pull a mucsle in my shoulder, yes you heard it right 2005.. a darn long time ago. =P

Initially I didn't borther about it because it just "snaps" occasionally. It hurts but it doesn't affect a whole lot of my lifestyle and stuff. However, in May 06 I sprained my finger. I went to see the Medical Officer hoping he'd do something about my finger and I just 'sun pian' told him about my shoulder and flatfoot.

Hence the many follow ups, from the army medical center to SGH, to physio, to X-rays, to MRI scan and then... OP on 29 March 2007. May 06 to Mar 07 damn long right? I agree man! Ineffiency to the MAX!

But here's the catch. On April 2nd my camp turned into a Stay-In camp. In other words no more Fall-out timing at 5.30pm. The only time we get to go home is friday evening and gotta Book-In on Sunday evening. Thankfully, I am currently on MC from 29th March to only God know when I'll recover. Usually people who go for OP will be out of action for mths. And.. NO I DID NOT PLAN TO "CHAO KENG" HOR =P

I must admit tho, ever since I stopped studying I really miss holidays.

Thank You Lord for this blessed break!

Kids Anyone?

2006-08-22T22:47:00.000+08:00

Just recently I engaged in a 'let's share more abt each other' kinda dialogue with someone. And somehow we arrived at the topic of kids, well not the 'would u wanna have kids in the future?' kinda converstation but rather just generally, Kids. He shared with me abt how he liked to be arnd them, play with em & stuff. And to my surprise, he commented 'You are not the kind that likes kids do you?'.

I was like "WHAT?!?!?". The ever playful, annoying, monkey who loves the playground, BenLong DO NOT LIKE KIDS? Are you seriously out of your mind?!? HaHahA! Ok maybe... just maybe... my looks, my age, etc... doesn't match that of a playground.. But HEY! stick with me long enough and you will understand the meaning of a "20 year old KID" I'm sure a lot of Maranuts can vouch for that.. LoL

I mean.. hey what's wrong with kids? They are sOoOo cute!!! I always have the urge to wave & make funny-faces @ em. And just watch them laugh with ever soo much delight. Which thereafter tempts me to wanna pinch their cheery cheeks!

People often say kids are so troublesome, noisy & stuff.. But somehow I prefer dealing with them den mature people. Least you know they do not make mistakes on purpose. They are honest with what they feel and do not put on a mask to hide their emotions, unlike the mature who grow mindful of what people think and say.

Imagin the world with the mentality to the likeness of a child. There will be fights, but the next time they meet, they'll be best of friends playing together again. There'll be no need for politics, no backstabbing, no dbl standards, etc...

As we age, we claim to know a lot.. Experiences tells us much no doubt. Knowledge and wisdom kicks in. However, we slowly forget what it means to be real and not superficial.. to mean every word we say & not just give textbook answers... Like the saying goes.. "Sometimes it's not good to know too much." Yep sometimes too much knowledge harms more den it should do good. Welp.. Adam & Eve is one good example =)

Oh yes.. another thing kids won't do.. They do not call u a pedophile when they see you playing with other kids.. =P

29 July 2006 MPM Session : Self-Sacrifice

2006-07-30T23:29:00.000+08:00

I could not have asked for a better team to execute this session.
In no particular order, here's what I've gotta say abt them

Jac: Wonderful with taking initiatives. Every ready to step up to lead when asked to. If there's anything I'd admire her for, it's the way she is always willing to put in her all for God.

Dot: Tho.. known for her quiet & soft-spoken nature, proved to be sincere & determine to make this session a successful one. & on the day itself, I was really impressed with the heart & confidence she had put in executing the session.

Addi: Evidently the busiest of the busiest. Yet still took time to seriously give thoughts to the meditation, never ceasing in his determination to perfect it. Even with many changes made to the storyline, he was patient, understanding & flexible towards opinions.

Aloy: Could perhaps have been a little more serious & less playful during planning & discussion. However, deep within him was still a willingness to learn.

Mel: Perhaps the most inexperienced in conducting sessions amongst the group of us. Yet the most enthusiastic. Never ceased to constantly ask if she could be of help in anyway possible, even tho she couldn't make it for meetings due to personal commitments. Considering it was her first few session she has ever done, Great Job!

Thanks all of u for the tremendous effort put into making this session a success. Without doubt I'm sure the session had benefited MPM in 1 way or another. & not forgetting, on behalf of the team, thanks for being our guitarist TM! =D I'm sure God must be watching over each and everyone of u right now with glee. =)

God Bless ya'll!

Brother Brother...

2006-06-20T21:11:00.000+08:00

Just randomly tot of expressing my gratitude to melanie aka brother, for listening to me whine & putting up with my irritating personality~ hAhaZ.. Thanks for being there tho.. I don't let u in on much of what's bothering me =)

Oh ya~ not forgetting Maria, thanks for the company too~ haha

Seeya at IMH! 12 midnight! Don't be late! =P

Easter! Another Step To Peace~

2006-04-17T00:07:00.000+08:00

I bottled a lot up.. and really needed to release..
Bore a grudge and needed to forgive..
I felt fear... Loads of it.. But I knew I needed to face it..

This Easter I've made a decision, and I'm glad I made it.
I took that step.
Released what I needed to release.
Took the first step to reconciliation.
To put the past behind and look forward to the future.

Thank God for this opportunity!
Thank God for giving me the courage!
Thank God for friends!
Thank God for this particular person!
Thank god for this learning experience!
The journey wouldn't be easy, but it sure is lighter now.

This Easter will probably be most significant to my life.
Rejoice~! Christ is risen!
Happy Easter to one and all!

Gradually Peaceful

2006-04-09T01:28:00.000+08:00

Problems, problems and more problems. Well that's what's been happening for months. Well like what I've stated in my previous post, it's not the problems that really gets on my nerves, but rather the fact that I dun understand why it happened. I felt really cheated by the people around me and by God.

Fortunately things are beginning to take a turn. Taking one step at a time I'm beginning to gradually sort my curiosity out. And gradually peace begins to dwell in me.

Well of course God had been a big part of it no doubt. However, it is the instrument he uses that really melts my heart. Like the chorus of the song "Angel In Disguise" by Corrinne May goes

“Take a look at the ordinary
Don’t need to look at paradise
You could be next to
An angel in disguise”

Well right now…
Next to me…
The angel in disguise…
Is non other than…
The one…
Hmm… Not the only…
Distant cousin of mine…
Joann Natalie Chia…

Thanks a million Jo. First for taking up the courage to sort things out between us and subsequently the never ceasing desire to aid me with the rest of my problems.

Right now it may seem like I’ve just lost something dear and still trying to accept the so called “Bad news”, but really it doesn’t feel as bad as I thought it would have, cos I’m comforted by your efforts to be there for me. If God’s Love ever has a shape, I’d believe it’d look just like you. (Aww… now’s the time to shed a tear)

Love ya distant cousin~!

Job? The mystery of God's Amazing Plans.

2006-04-04T00:20:00.000+08:00

It's ironic, how I've always want to be there for my close friends, but I always end up feeling helpless, in fact I need help myself to begin with. Well like the saying goes "How can u help others when u can't even help yourself". But the problem is, I don't know how to help myself, I don't feel I'm the one to help me and I don't feel I deserve whatever has been going on.. I mean.. ya I made mistakes along the way, but.. Nothing to deserve what I'm going through I believe. I really want to reconcile, but I'm like not given a chance to.

I feel like Job, prolly a more fortunate one, least I don't have disease and other worse off stuff. But what I got is enough to make me realise how unstable my faith is. It's hard to be as faithful as Job. A couple of crisis occurs and I can't understand what did I do to deserve being isolated, like freak as though my own problems are not enough for me to handle?

My spiritual dryness begun months ago. And right now I'm extremely curious of why things are happening and affected the awkward feeling of being kept in darkness. Moreover, it just keeps getting worse. At times I really want to yell out really loud for the world to hear. "Got a problem? Well let's voice it out, I'm not that unreasonable am I? If I am, knock some sense into me, break my ego if you have to. Just don't lie to me, don't avoid me and bloody hell don't ignore me."

I'm desperate for answers, insecure when I have none. When I do not understand a problem, I'll ask till ends meet when I get a chance to. This is me, when I don't like something about you, I either accept it or voice out a possible change to it. Don't like what I do? Well accept it or voice your suggestion, and allow us the chance to compromise and ultimately come to consences with each other, don't hurt the friendship.

I'm currently only holding to the hope that my story may just be like Job, and believe that in God's time he will reveal to me mystery of his Amazing Plans.

Life's T-Junction Take a L or R?

2006-03-14T22:27:00.000+08:00

Up & downs... Well it seems for the past mths life has been inevitably down for me. Which actually explains the long break for my blog... I totally lost the zeal to do almost anything (Blogging included of course)... Well yea u can relate the reason as to why I'm here blogging once again to the fact that things may just be improving for me =)

However, I'm still somewhat stuck at this T-Junction. Still unable to decide if I should go L or R... I'm sure all of us have one way or another been in such situations b4... when you've gotta choose between one or the other. There's NO 2 ways about it, it's just either this or that... No such thing as the best of both worlds.

Well yea that what I'm going thru right now, standing in the middle of this T-Junction.. To take a L or R turn? Considering that back-tracking is pointless, I've to choose between these 2..

Well a R turn seems to be the more logical choice, as I seem to understand the situation better and I could somewhat predict it's outcome.. Well with all these factors, I'm definately more comfortable with taking R.. The road seems somewhat clear as far as i can see.. I'm not sure if there'll be a gate for me to unlock along the way.. Even if there will be I do feel I'd able to unlock it..

On the other hand a L turn seems like a total mystery to me. Before I'm actually able to advance any further, there already is a gate right infront of me. Despite the obstacle, I'm somehow exteremly attracted to this route. Through the years I've tried many ways to try to unlock the gate, keys, ram, knock, etc... What I could do I did... Than I thought sheer determination will open the gates... Well it did budge a little... But somehow it requires more than just that... Cos the gates soon locked tightly back together again.. My heart tells me I'm gonna need patience.. Loads of it... And at the end of it.. I'm not even sure if the gates will open... For that seemly low percent chance of success.. Somehow I'm willing to keep trying..

What will the outcome be? I'm not sure.. I'm actually hoping that the gates for the L route will open.. I usually believe in appreciating what one already has, however this time I can't live not knowing what's behind the gates of the L route. Cause only than I'd be able to compare within the 2 routes and decide fairly which to take, I dun wanna rush a decision and regret in the end.

Maybe one day the gates of the L route will open, or maybe my curiosity for L route will die off, I'll come to my senses and just take the R route that was there all along.

One thing's for sure tho... Once I've committed to any one of this route, there's no way I'm turning back to venture on any other route until the journey is complete.

Harry 2000 years ago…

2005-11-04T00:53:00.000+08:00

Just recently, I managed to catch the movie Armageddon on HBO. Probably one of the most emotional sci-fi movie I’ve ever watched. The part I like most is when Harry (Bruce Willis) tricked A.J (Ben Affleck) and took his place to blow the asteroid up to save the world. In that process, also loses his own life.

In that whole scene, it wasn’t just a straight forward “push the button” and “boom!” the world is saved thing. Harry had to put up a struggle with the pressure from the environment as he set the bomb while time was racing against him. All that just to get himself killed?

While watching, emotions raged within me. I thought to myself such people are rare.
Rare as it is, while I gave it much thought, I realized that it has happened before. Over 2000 years ago. A man did lay down his life to save all of humanity.

However, it’s a sad fact that when people are reminded of that incident, their emotions don’t rage within them like it would when they watch Harry sacrifice himself to save the world from the asteroid.

I found myself guilty of this as well.

Harry is just a movie character… Jesus actually went through real struggles to sacrifice his own life so that the world would be saved of sin. And he could have chosen not to.

Determined Bakers

2005-10-04T18:55:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to Addison, Auntie Audrey(TM's mom) Elvin, Jac, Michelle, Rachel & TM.

On Saturday after MPM meeting, mass and dinner, the group of us together with the rest of MPM went down to TM's house to bake cookies for Bake Sale the next day.

We started baking at abt 8plus at night and by 11.30pm we were barely halfway through our batch of chocolate chip cookies and have yet to even get started with the walnuts cookies. Some of us were wondering whether or not to catch our last bus home so as to avoid the midnight cab fare, that's when TM offered to fetch everyone home.

Though sleepy we were, we were determined to finish baking everything. And only managed that at 4plus am. We were only able to get about 3 hrs (or less) of rest before we had to wake up for the sale the next day at 9.15am.

For me I had to do it cause I was the IC of the event. But for these people they could have chose to rest and prepare for a long day for church, school, practice or work the next day.

My sincerest gratitude for all your help in making the 1st bake sale happen. And I'd like to apologise that u guys had to stay up till that late. Though we did not manage to raise as much as we should for the Bake Sale, I'm not disheartened for I'm really touched by the support you guys showed.

Thanks Guys! A lot! Really... =)

The "Present" noun & adjective

2005-09-27T23:19:00.000+08:00

Present (noun)
Well I'm pleased with God's gift(present) of this vocation I'm doing in army, like mentioned before, an Ammo Technician. Plus I get to stay out.

Present (adjective)
However, at present I'm studying for 1 of my 20 exams that I have within my 12weeks course. My my... God bless me =P

Anyhow, I can't complain much, cept for the fact that it's really mentally draining.
I'm sure I'll get thru this somehow tho.. Or at least I'll try my best to.. heh

Was it planned? Yep... Not by me but by God... (Part2)

2005-09-19T19:36:00.000+08:00

I was always wondering when would I ever be inspired to continue Part2 of this topic...

Well the day has come! When else apart from this day that's made me feel so blessed!

I can picture God right now looking at me with a grin on his face saying, "You man of little faith!"

To think that I was desperately hoping for an 8 to 5 posting, today I was told that I'm undergoing a 3 months course, studying to be an ammo technician, that will enable me to become a sergeant within few months after the course (5-6 months from now) and I am not required to stay in during this course.

Like what's the likelihood a PES C status NS man, without undergoing SOC, IPPT, SISPEC, and becomes a sergeant?
(For those who dunno what are SOC, IPPT and SISPEC... these are pretty tough physical trainings that practially all NS personals need to go through either during BMT or SISPEC before becoming a sergeant)

As much as I have heard a sergeant's life is not exactly an easy one, at least now I know I'm not just gonna do "Sai Kang" throughout my NS life watching my days pass. What's more, I have 3 months to do what I need to do in church like D&D, Council, MPM and all that stuff before I get my next posting, stay in or stay out I dunno, but least I feel really blessed to have till somewhere in December.

I'm practically laughing at myself right now for assuming that there are just 2 outcomes to what my life's gonna be in army. My goodness! This is unbelievable! I can't deny now that God definitely has the best planned for my route in life.

How would I grade this day? 101/100! Well I dunno what grade is that, but I think u get what I mean =D

Block leave? - "let not my will, but yours be done"

2005-09-18T02:12:00.000+08:00

I'd say overall I had quite a satisfactory break, if I had to give it a grade, probably 75/100? heh.. ok la B not too bad right? 25/100 kinda cos there were times I just really dunno what to do..

It feels as though I just had my POC yesterday... well I guess time flys when you are having a great time.. I am just beginning get comfortable with freedom once again. However I guess I gotta face reality =(

1 more day till I get to know if I need to stay in camp.. Honestly I'm kinda desperately hoping that I'd get 8am-5pm... A strong urge to ask everyone to pray for me that I get what I want...

Feels as though I could relate to Jesus right now when he was praying at the garden of Gethsemane... asking God... "If it is your will, put me to 8am-5pm..." However, the words "let not my will, but yours be done" seem soooo hard to accept... Cos I know deep inside I want no 2 ways to it... so much that I'd think to myself "God gimme 8am-5pm and I don't mind doing more of your work". I know it's wrong to bargain with God... But that's how desperate I really am!

I need strength for whatever comes my way... to come out of my comfort zone if I have to... I'm clinging whatever hope that is left that I would not need to stay in.

There's only 2 outcome/grades to my mood on monday... It's either 0/100 : (U) or 100/100 : (A*)... Than again... I need to trust God that he'd give me nothing but the best..

2 more days to POC!

2005-09-03T08:06:00.000+08:00

*sings*
2 more days to POC, PO, PO!
2 more days to POC, PO, POC!

Woohoo I'm almost at the end of my Basic Military Training!
2 more days to Passing Out Ceremony(counting from monday)! Well for others it's Passing Out Parade.. But for PES C it's 'ceremony' because the modified training we go through is not worthy of a Parade. =P

Oh well.. but I could care less! I'm gonna get more freedom at last! That's what matters!

Now I'm hoping that I'd get posted to somewhere near.. & get a clark job from 8am to 5pm.. =)

The Unexpected "Good" Week

2005-08-28T17:47:00.000+08:00

National Service...
Guys who have not enlisted, dread it.
Guys who are still serving, can't wait for it to end.
Guys who have finished serving, breaths a great sigh of relief.

Well i guess for majority of the male population in singapore, National Service is not something any of us wants to go through. We'd rather say, we're forced to go through. Hence, I began to assume that I should expect only the worse to happen. However... The past week has proved me wrong!

Here's what we did. On monday & tuesday we had our practice range on some computer system. Wednesday we had practise on life rounds(real bullets). Thursday we had our test for life firing. Friday we practically didn't do much cept to wait for the next day to book out.

Monday and tuesday was fun firing in an air-con environment.

On Wednesday it was kinda stressful handling life rounds for the first time plus I had a bad encounter with an instructor, instead of helping me, was just yelling his lungs out. The stress probably got to me and my cough got worse. Felt pretty low that day. Until my Platoon Commander walked up to me and asked if I was alright, aware of my serious cough. What touched me was the fact that he did not just asked and forget abt it, but back at the company line he offered me his cough drops.

Action speaks louder then words. His actions reminded me of how some of us always ask why did Jesus die for people as unworthy as us... like my platoon commander was not obligated to offer a recruit his cough drops.

My spirits were kinda lifted the next day as I went for my test. I am very sure that my day range is a lot better than my night. Though slightly nervous I was, I scored 14/16 shots for my day. When came the night range instead of becoming more nervous, I felt very peaceful at the sight of beautiful stars that lit up the dark skies. Somehow I was reminded of God as I was appreciating his awesome creations, like as though he was right there with me, watching over me.

When the test ended, my results were 29/32 & got marksman.

I may not be able to bring my family & friends with me to camp, but nothing can take me away from my God. Isn't it amazing how he can make your day in the simplest ways?

What if... Something's missing?

2005-08-08T12:32:00.000+08:00

This post is like months due cos i was too lazy to create my blog la.. haha
Be warned... it's a long entry =)
However, I hope you enjoy reading!

It was a normal Sunday afternoon after a usual confirmation class. I was on my way home. Boarded the 159 bus and sat on a seat facing the passangers. As I was making myself comfortable, the scrawniness of an old man caught my attention. He was in polo tee, casual shorts, sandals & socks and a pair of glasses with huge frames. At the evident sight of bones which his flesh seemed to barely cover, I believe him to be a Prisoner of War during the Japan invasion.

As I continued observing him from the corner of my eye, he attempted to scratch his face, or should i say... he rubbed his face. The fingers on both his hands seemed to have been cut off, hence rubbing was the only way to ease the itch. Upon this realization, his sandals with socks mismatch didn't feel weird anymore. The width of his feet fits the sandals, but not the length. My guess? He was missing toes too.

For the rest of my journey home, I was thinking "What if... Something's missing?". Could you imagin wearing clothes, socks, having a meal, typing on a computer or even typing sms on your handphone to be an almost impossible task to do without fingers? And walking carefully is the only way u can move about, because it's hard to balance without the support of your toes? Even when u fall, your palm is the only thing that can break your fall?

From that experience, I realized the need to learn to appreciate not just my fingers & toe's more. But rather, everything that I 'still' have. Physical things like, the gift of sight, hearing, speech & of course my fingers & toes. The nature that God created, the friends and family that God gave to me. Well these are just some of my examples of things I 'still' have to appreciate, the list goes on.

Reason why I use the word 'still'? My thoughts are, these gifts are not meant to last forever. Appreciate them while you still have them, so you won't regret when you lose them. These gifts are not given because he's obligated to give, but because he loves.

Was it planned? Yep... Not by me but by God... (Part1)

2005-07-27T21:30:00.000+08:00

"Hey Ben how's army?"
That is the most common question I get ever since I booked in last friday.

Honestly, I wasn't looking forward to stepping outta my comfort zone. Enjoying the freedom to choose where i want to go everyday. Unfortunately, it's a chapter in my life I cannot escape.

Well 5 days have passed. Looking back, it wasn't really all that bad. Least I would count myself a lot more fortunate than many others in army. & I believe God had it all planned before I was even brought into this world.

To put it simply, I was born with flat-foot. And it never did cause me any trouble till i was in Primary 4. At that point of time i was very sporty, I loved running and would often come in top few in my class. I remember the disappointment i felt when I couldn't join my friends in the races we would usually have during P.E.

Unfortunate? Yea that's what i thought when i was young. I would ask God "Why do you do this to me?" However, now i finally realised the reason: 'PES C2L2 excuse RMJ' Well PES C2L2 in simple army terms means lesser strenuous training and excuse RMJ means excused from Running / Marching / Jumping. Now when i see people running like crazy & marching long distance, I'd think to myself "Wah Heng arh". We still do some Physical training like Marching & all... But to a limit. So i'm keeping fit, yet not overly stressed.

Blessing in disguise? Definitely!

God works in mysterious ways.

Thank you for your time

2005-07-22T01:23:00.000+08:00

On my last day b4 going into army...

TM and Elvin thank you for treating me to lunch! and Rachel, for joining us for lunch~

TM and Elvin again... thanks for following me to buy necessities for my camp~

Hil, Jo, Lynette, Rachel, Elvin and TM... Thank you all for spending time with me in the evening, making time easier to pass! =) Not forgetting also what you guys bought for me... U know.. Size 'M' haha

All of you have your own busy lives to lead~ Tho.. you've made a mess outta my hair.. I really appreciate the time you've set aside just to accompany me~! =)

Btw thanks TM, least i don't look too monsterous to see the world after you touched-up.. As for the rest of you.. don't even dream of being a Hair Sytlist!!! =P

ok la.. maybe hil might be able to make it... the rest.. YOU HEARD ME!

Yup anyway cya to all reading this... don't miss me too much~!
God Bless!

Final Hours of freedom... But i still have time...

2005-07-21T20:29:00.000+08:00

My first blog!

Not exactly the most exciting one...
The feeling i get when everyone's talking to me these few days, is one that makes me feel like i'm gonna leave this world or something...
Final hours... Not to death~! But it's just army!
I mean yea I probably never felt my hours ever meant so much to me before... fact is.. it's my final few hours of freedom... and then it'll be taken from me...

Well i'd like to think freedom is given to me by God... it never belonged to me anyway.. and i'm sure now that freedom is no longer mine, God will fill that emptiness with something else.. like maybe.. it's a time i'll grow closer to him... he's the only friend i can bring with me though the army... to share my ups and downs... infact he's the only person always present thoughout our lives...

There's 1 thing I'll keep in mind... time is given by God... there's never a possiblity to have no time for him... No doubt freedom is taken from me... I still have time... and that's what i hope i can do... to find time for him.

I pray that everyone, somewhere... somehow... would also find time for him. And not allow laziness and the temptations of this world keep us from it.